|Autism in My Eyes||
|Autism in My Eyes||
Good Evening, Ladies, and welcome to my first ever blog post. I want to first and foremost introduce myself. My name is Lauryn Torina and as an adult living with Asperger Syndrome it is my distinct honor and privilege to share with you some of my experiences that life has offered and hopefully help you and guide you through some of the issues we adult women face daily.
OK, so let's face it here, being a girl is hard! I mean come on, right?! Think about it, we all have to worry about looking our best, acting graceful and “ladylike” 24/7. Not to mention how expensive it is to be a girl and how much of a chore it can be take care of ourselves daily. When did my shower routine require six to seven products instead of three?
On top of all the above mentioned, we have the Autism Spectrum Disorder label to go with it. So not only do we need to use red lipstick, but it has to be NYX red lipstick in “Sandman” or the purple skintimate shave gel, not pink. Maybe, you aren't a makeup girl like I am. Maybe it's clothes, or shoes or nail polish, or a snack food item, or brand of pop. Maybe you aren't super girly at all and all you want is your baseball cards in chronological order or to watch your favorite show at 5 o'clock in the evening and then have dinner and go to bed. If it isn't what we need, we may become upset. Or, what's even worse, is people get frustrated with us because they don't understand the rigidity of our lives. They don't understand why we have to turn the light off and on before entering and exiting a room, or why the sun hurts our eyes even if it's hazy, or why action movies are too loud to see in a theater. All of these things can make our “lady like facade” disappear in to the abyss of doom.
Whatever it is, I get it. I've been there, done that. Some days it feels like I have seen it all, and other days it’s a whole new world. See, not only am I an adult living with an ASD, but I also work with kids on the spectrum. It's rewarding, yet exhausting. Lucky for me, I can use the skill of having an ASD to better aid me in understanding my kids I work with and try to help them navigate t
And it’s a whole different story when you try to enter the hazardous world of dating. Boys (or girls) may find you weird and awkward and want nothing to do with you. Or maybe you are too shy and have no clue how to approach someone when you're interested in them. Sure, in your head, it goes so smooth and perfect and you walk off together hand and hand skipping through a poppy field of perfection. But reality check, it doesn't work that way. What really happens is, your lack of filter wedges its way in and you say something totally stupid or you run away into oblivion and hide and pray that they approach you. Or, you put yourself out there way too much and once again you're, the freak of nature and have blown your chances to smithereens!
Or,if you're like me, you will fight your way through everything till you feel like your dream of meeting the ideal mate is never going to happen and you will wind up with a dozen black cats. But then you meet him. He's a bit awkward like you and, though not an ASD adult (as your mother insisted you date), is quirky and nerdy and perfect. He just gets you and you get him and HUZZAH you're set for life! But until then, good luck navigating the dating pool!
So what do we lovely ASD ladies do? Nothing and everything. Autism Spectrum Disorders are a group of mental disorders with a genetic factor. There is no cure. You can “rejoice and love yourself today cause baby you were born this way,” as Lady GaGa would say. Because having an ASD is a part of you and it always will be. You can accept it and live your life how it was intended to be lived.
Or you can do everything you can to join in the fight for a cure for this condition. As of right now, there are only 13 post mortum (non living) brains for researchers to conduct their research on. That is not very many. The only way we can learn more about brains like ours is to do research. That takes money. Do a walk, or a bake sale or whatever you can to join the fight. If you do not wish to fight for a cure, fight for yourself and seek the help of others. Whether it be an Applied Behavioral Analysis Tech (ABA) like me, or a caregiver, psychologist, Social worker, Psychiatrist, therapist, or even so much as reading books on the subject or talking to a friend, do it! Because the only people who can help the rest of this crazy messed up non ASD world understand how our brains work are US.
Above all, my fellow ASD ladies, just be yourself. Remember who you are and be proud of it. We are all riding the same struggle bus trying to figure out our own lives. Some of us may have it all sorted out, and some like me are in between and have it almost there, and then there are some who have no clue as to which direction to go. Stick together and know that it will all work out in the end.